If everyone should have children, why is mine so hard to raise?

This is an important topic.  Everyone thinks that their child should be perfect and be a reflection of them.  But what if your child is different physically, mentally, relationally?  How do you realize that they are their own person and you can love them unconditionally?  Also, discussing this topic can reflect thoughts on what your childhood was like and how that sets expectations for your children. 

I was fortunate to have lunch with a long time colleague this week. I asked the routine question of "how are your sons doing"? Previous conversations had uncovered that he and I both have sons who are treading water in society, unsure of what to do next. Both boys are in their twenties. We discussed how when we were their age, there was no question that we would attend college and find a career before starting our adult lives. Unfortunately, our sons do not view the world that way. They are working minimum wage jobs and trying to make ends meet. I then explained that I had talked with my son and told him that he had to make a decision soon because I couldn't support him forever. This was my attempt at tough love. I explained that for two years I could not sleep or breathe worrying about my son's future. My colleague looked at me and with the most painful look, he said, "try 6 years without breathing".
I was floored by his reaction, but honored by the authentic reaction to what opened up to be an honest conversation. We put so much hope into our children, but are we really hoping to show the world our great parenting skills? What if we fail? What does failure look like?
When we enter parenthood, we measure our child against every other child and the time it takes to walk, eat, speak and read. What if we allow our child to find their way at their own pace? Allowing them to enjoy the journey rather than the outcome. When it comes down to it, we cannot make their decisions, we can only love them.